Family Mentoring as a turning point

My name is Nicole*, I am 37 years old and a single mother of two wonderful children: Leonardo (4) and Matteo (3). Both are growing up trilingual – Romanian, Italian, and German – and it is important to me that they have a good level of German. Unfortunately, they both have attachment disorders. I want to do everything perfectly, but it's hard and I'm exhausted. Therapy, logopedics, household chores – it's a lot. 

A difficult start to motherhood 

Our journey began with the association “Frühe Hilfen” (Early Help) even before the birth of my first son. At that time, I was in a very difficult situation – mainly because of problems with the father of my children. What I lacked was family support. My parents died when I was six years old, I grew up in a children's home myself and came to Austria after graduating from high school in Romania. 
“Frühe Hilfen” supports families with children up to the age of three. For the time after that, I was recommended the Family Mentoring mentoring programme from younus – and that was a turning point for us. 

Shared experiences and practical help 

I was assigned a parent mentor for a year: Michaela. I was very lucky because she was a child educator herself. Her support was a gift to me in every way. She gave me advice and helped me to further my education. She was always there – even beyond her role. We baked together, visited the flower garden in Hirschstetten, and she showed me exercises to promote language and motor skills. The four of us met regularly, and Michaela quickly became an important person in my life. 

Shortly before the end of our mentoring year, she helped me in a particularly important way: Leonardo was having great difficulty in kindergarten, mainly because of his attachment disorder. Michaela gave me tips on how I could help my son to come out of his shell more. The educators didn't know how to deal with him properly. He has special needs and requires regular observation. 

Empowerment instead of stigmatization 

I made a list of problems and requested a meeting at the kindergarten. Michaela accompanied me and helped me communicate my needs and those of my sons. Now we have a communication book to help us communicate better with the educators. 

She also showed the kindergarten how hard I try and how much I do for my little ones. That gave me strength. Because I sometimes pick up the children late from kindergarten due to my work, I was often labeled a “bad mother.” That was very upsetting. 

Recently, one of my children has also benefited directly from family mentoring. After a long search, younus found a suitable mentor for Leonardo: Bettina. She is a loving young woman who plays with him, laughs, tells stories, and encourages him. He is now more confident, climbs, talks more, and can even set boundaries. 

Parent-child meetings as a valuable resource 

The programme's parent-child meetings are a great enrichment for us. My boys get to interact with others and I get to interact with other parents—even if I can't talk to them as much as I would like because my children are so focused on me. We take game ideas home with us and play them together. It's good for all of us. 

I really hope that Bettina will extend her support for another six months. We have already taken her into our hearts – just like Michaela. Next year, Matteo might also get a mentor. These relationships are essential for us. I want my children to feel comfortable because I know what it's like to have no one. I want them to have a good education and a better life. 

Thanks to family mentoring, my children are more confident, more active in groups, and making progress with the language. It's good to know that I'm not alone. I am incredibly grateful that this programme exists – and that Generali supports it. It's really important. 

*The names of all those involved have been changed.